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Seek The Truth Blog


Escaping a destructive cult isn't about leaving something bad. It's about finding something that is good. No matter how much we tell ourselves that life has given us the short end of the stick, Life has many more sticks with a countless number of ends. If we don't like one of them, we simply find another. Life continues. It always has, and it always will.

After leaving, many cult members feel that they are at fault. They could have made different choices in life and could have avoided years lost to the destructive group. Second-generation members could have been more aware and left at the first signs of manipulation. Former members must learn to let go of any self-judgment over what might have been. The truth of the matter is, no one ever wants to join or be born into a cult. If they knew in the beginning what they know after leaving, there would be nothing to judge; they would have immediately left the group. It would very easy to focus on the many things that could have been done differently and count the time as loss but doing so would be a discredit to themselves. There were many accomplishments as well, and those accomplishments should not be overlooked.

For former cult members, the final step to healing is learning to accept themselves for who they are. Though every former member would quickly say that they would rather have never been involved with the group they left, those who have healed will also say that the cult made them into the person they are today. Not only have they learned to critically examine the group and its beliefs, they have learned to critically examine themselves and their core beliefs. The positive character traits they gained while in the group are still positive. The negative character traits may still exist, but they are aware they exist, and work towards improving. Someday, even though it may take years to do so, they will overcome. They are free to think, free to live, and free to change. And freedom is sweet.