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Letting Go for Gain Instead of Loss

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Letting Go for Gain Instead of Loss:

When a person struggles clinging to someone or something they no longer need in their lives, the connection becomes toxic. No matter how much energy is applied to maintaining the connection, it produces no benefit. They feel drained, lose self-respect, and feel trapped in a prison that has no doors; they could easily walk out, but feel as though they must remain inside. When they refuse to let go of a relationship, and that relationship goes toxic, it becomes aggressively worse.

When former cult members are in their final stages of healing, the majority of ties to the cult quickly become toxic. Family still in the cult become aggressively more judgmental and condemning. Long-time friends stop or limit communication. Doctrinal beliefs they once valued feel uncomfortable. The negative energy flowing from these connections becomes far more powerful than any positive energy the former member can create for themselves. Yet many former members cling tightly until the very end, only letting go once they are forced by self-preservation.

The release, however, is often surprising. Letting go of toxic connections leaves room for healthy connections. Walking away from relationships for a period of time creates an opportunity to reconnect after healthy boundaries have been established. The overwhelming amount of energy spent on maintaining toxic connections can now be applied to improving overall quality of life. At the same time, it allows for a purging of relationships that were never meant to be, both friends and family. Connections with people who did not love or value the relationship can be replaced with others who do.

Former cult members in this stage of their journey find that they are not losing anything by letting go. They are letting go for incredible gain. All connections with negative value are replaced with positive, improving self-worth and motivation. They let go to appreciate and value the good things in life.