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Looking Forward To Not Looking Backwards

02/07/2018
Seek The Truth Blog

Looking Forward To Not Looking Backwards:

Leaving a cult is difficult, whether one was born and raised in the group, joined after marrying a member, or recruited later in life. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually, they have invested so much of their life into the group that leaving seems like a failed investment that can never be recovered or replaced. Many former members find themselves looking backwards without even realizing they are doing so.

The emptiness and void left unfilled by leaving is very difficult for many former members of cults, especially in groups who met multiple times per week. As former members integrate into "normal" life, they quickly realize that the cult gathered more frequently than most groups of people, both social and religious. Worse, the people were unnaturally close like family. Trying to replace them with another group seems only partially fulfilling, and the emptiness remaining feels impossible to overcome. As former members notice the difference, they find themselves reflecting on cult gatherings. Even if some of the memories are uncomfortable, they are mixed with fond memories.

Though it is difficult at first, former members must learn to replace the void with purpose. As cult members, they were part of a group that claimed to have purpose, yet were never given the decision making power to drive it. The void they feel is that of a follower without a leader, whose purpose was dictated.

Finding purpose in life is not only fulfilling, it is empowering. Former members who find their purpose seldom look backwards. They look forward to their goals and ambitions. Whether it is starting a business, learning their passion through music or the arts, or simply helping others, having a purpose brings positive change. The feeling of accomplishment far outweighs any feeling of comfort the cult group could offer. There is no reason to look backwards; the life they desire is ahead, not behind.