Site Search:

 

Our Stories - The Testimony of Sister Maya Pugatova

03/16/2012 The Testimony of Sister Maya Pugatova


My dears Brothers and Sisters! I want to write a little about myself.
Now I have feeling that I write to my home where I were not for a long time. I believe that at my home there always understand me. I look back on my eighteen years of believing and I see only sand around and poor myself with empty hands, with coarse heart... When I recently read the book "The Way over Jordan" I suddenly have realized that it is just about me, this is my way, it's me lie on the brink of wilderness and don't know - am I still alive or already I am dead.

Sorry, as always I run ahead. Now I tell by order. I was born in the family of unbelievers in 1969. In 1991 we with my husband have finished Teachers College in Armavir and came to work in village (stanica) Yasenka. There we for the first time heard from Jehovah's Witnesses about the God which was differed from Orthodox's one. It was new for us although their teaching didn't catch us. At summer 1991 my husband visited Armavir (where his parents lived) and met there his old college friends who became believers (Pentecostals).

Through testimony of his friend Sergey Sozinov He came in belief, repented, was baptised in the name of Lord Jesus Christ (at that church there gave baptism so). Exectly brother Sergey did baptise him on the river by his faith.Sergey even didn't inform about this in his church because Vitaly (my husband) arrived for a short while. After Sergey got scolding from his pastor. Vitaly came back to home (more exactly - came flying!) as another man (a wife see it!). And first what he told me was - "these signs shall follow them that believe..." Mk. 16:17. It was so new after tasteless books of Jehovah's Witnesses! I didn't totally comprehend it but I saw changings in my husband! Despite of some scribe from Jehovah's Witnesses tried to pinion him wings saying "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord..." the seed was sowed and nothing could remove it out of heart.

So after short time I have repented too (The Lord hasn't busied with me of a long time, perhaps in order I didn't poison life of my husband. Praise Him! Simply He gave in my heart the fear that I am lost). I were baptised by my husband. It even didn't come in our mind - to go somewhere for having water baptism. Simply, we read in Bible that disciples did baptise by the same mode. Few later at our visiting in Armavir just like John's disciples we have heard about Holy Spirit which is given by God to every believer. Hurrah! It means we need it too! Exactly at first meeting after that when someone asked who have any needs I stood up and have asked for praying about me for baptism by Holy Spirit. Pastor put his hands, assembly loudly prayed, I even hadn't doubts that it is easy and simple. So I began speak in tongues. When we returned to home I came into bathroom for checking - tongues still were with me. In common, how we learnt so it happened. At the same day there was praying also for my husband but he began to speak in tongues only at the next day. He slightly was upset through it.

We came back to home been happy. Soon later there were gathered small group of believers, inclooding Ivan Turoff and Tanya Sviridova (Turoff in future). First two or three years we bathed in God's love. All in our group have received baptism by Holy Spirit with signs. But time passed and we didn't have true teaching. A some import all time. Next there were begun distortions, faults in prophecyes, at last the law has come. Life did put concrete questions and we hadn't answers. For example, can a sister marry unbeliever if she already was intimate with him before coming in believing. Because of that our first cleavage was happened.

How it usually happens in denomination other chagrins and controversies began so we even decided to be dispersed and to not know each-other. Someone came to Adventists (doing re-baptism in Trinity and repudiation from Holy Ghost), someone remained with OWN understanding and revelations. We with husband licked our wounds and suffered by loneliness. Near of 2002-2003 we again met Turoff family and were very glad that they still love God. It's needed to be mentioned that Turoff family always were especially close for us. When Tanya have finished the school she didn't have where to live, we accepted her as a relative though we had two small rooms and had child (by the way, now we have five ones). I tell in only as a fact, I know each Christian does so. Year after Ivan married her (perhaps, in order that noone else take such lass with kind heart).

At that time MESSAGE came to us. About that period brother Ivan did testimony (http://for-christ.ucoz.org/forum/4-20-1). I tell only about my feelings. Together with rapture by of God's great revelations another things came in our life - a some lukewarmness, complacency, reading of brochures only. I saw in other message assemblies that they don't pray in tongues, that as if it have to be checked what a spirit it is... next I read how brother Branham said that especial inspiration is needed for tongues. I waited this inspiration but it didn't come yet.

Next time everything was like everywhere. When we came in knowing about most fresh Word of the hour we were shocked that there are two different message groups in small town Armavir, three in Yessentuki. But next it came to us too. There began misunderstanding between brothers, (Eugen Devyatyarov had a hand in it), different opinions etc. Each had own understanding of a situation, own interpretation etc. We as a sisters simply wanted peace and wept each time. All attempts to solve disagreements boiled down to empty debates

That were six such long years. During this years I went into my shell like a turtle. Wanting to be with my husband in everything, in woe and in joy, is he right or not, I didn't communicate at all with Tanya and later with Katya Polovaya, though I met them from time to time. Only God knows what were for us these six years. It's scorching wilderness where you even is not going through but only is lying. In praying the Lord once said to my husband "I will restore", we decided our assembly will be restored.

During all these years we had not any contacts for we had not answers onto question "What it happened to you". Also we saw the life nowhere around. Everything everywhere was the same. Even earlier we did not visit farther than Armavir or Yssentuki. So about things happened in Message we listened only with half an ear and didn't see all picture. But it was quite enough for understanding that something is wrong. I also couldn't listen sermons from message conferences though I honesty tried to strain all brains. My husband didn't even such efforts - after 5-10 of hearing of any sermon by message preachers he fell asleep.

Generically we hadn't any real food. Unless sometimes God did refresh by a some quote of Word, by a some verse of Bible. For some reason brochures became not interesting for reading. In point of this wasn't changing anything in our core. Approximately at April of this year we got to know that all our other believers in Yasenka have to move to Ukraine to live there. Why? What for? Our ignorance also could be explained that we didn't have access to WEB till now. So information about a some believers from Kharkov dropped to us like snow onto head. We had callings from Yeisk, from Yessentuki. They asked us what did happen with Vanya? With Sasha? What did they get into?

A brother from Yeisk said about some Pentecostal things in Kharkov. My husband answered him (even knowing nothing at that time) "Whether sitting during years with nothing is happening is more better? Then there is better even at Charismatics! Generically everything what separated us was dissipated. Vitaly went to talk with brother Ivan in order to correct at least something. After that talking he brought books from Kharkov. The book "Message - Inside View" we did read easyly, we agreed with all things there. Although for me it seemed that things there more relates to Jeffersonville. Next Vitaly did read "The Man Jesus Christ" and I read "The Pyramid". Here real breaking was occuring. Also my womanish curiosity did hamper.

My husband did read solidly, successively. Periodically he shared with me what he has read, saying "however it's true!". I did read as if scalded, by pieces from that and that. Now about ovule, now about Revelation 10:7, now about shift in pyramid... My brains boiled. How it can be possible! Is not "The Word comes only to prophet"?! Or also I was stumbling over any non-religious words. But one day I began to read it carefully and I could not stop. I have noticed I already had not wishing to be argue against it. Nothing of words already didn't catch me. I began see that "way through wilderness" - this is about me. "Idolatry" - this is also about me. "Quenching of Holy Spirit" - this is also about me. My husband had the same thoughts. I was killed!

Vitaly said me - "Eighteen years we walked over wilderness, following a some man. Really all this time the God was on the outside of us. I want Him on the inside. Next we got offer to admit openly all our former religious experience as mistake, to repent in idolatry. And we did it in assembly quite deliberately. Praise God! When we returned to home I felt such easyness! First time during of many years! Something has changed in spiritual world. I realize this is only the beginning. Sometimes I am afraid but now I fight against this spirit of unbelief.

Just now I listened sermons in last year sammit. There was said - Whether God have gathered us for ruining? For this purpose He simply could allow to remain us at our ways. If he would do it we are going to death by oneself. Also, as Paul Savchenkoff said, now I want to understand what each revelation mean in MY life. Amen!
I wanted to write a little. But my life couldn't get in few rows. I re-read it now and see scraps and pieces. I want very much to communicate openly with people who are close in spirit. When I visited forum as a guest a thing amazed me - that all are in like-mindedness, any taboo for any awkward questions is absent, people have open hearts - it means there is faith to each other. May the Lord bless you.

_____________